


I'm dead. He's gone. I got rid of him.

by leogobsin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22373011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leogobsin/pseuds/leogobsin
Summary: What if instead of Harrison Ford kinda phoning it in for 90 seconds, Ben actually got to speak with the man he spent his whole life idolizing, and was forced to contend with the way in which he fundamentally misunderstood that man's life and what it would mean to carry out his legacy. Makes you think, huh?Alternate title that I honestly really wanted to use: I'm Anakin Skywalker. Stop it, get some help. (https://youtu.be/5vk7GLP4GFk)This is an idea I've had bouncing around in my head for probably a couple years now, but then on seeing TRoS it fit so perfectly as a fix-it for this specific scene that I just had to get it down. On actually getting it written down... it doesn't exactly work and I'm not really sure how well it meshes with Kylo's characterization across Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker... but also that characterization is maybe so much of a mess that who knows how well anything would mesh and anyway. It's done now and the idea is no longer just trapped in my brain.
Kudos: 4





	I'm dead. He's gone. I got rid of him.

**Author's Note:**

> What if instead of Harrison Ford kinda phoning it in for 90 seconds, Ben actually got to speak with the man he spent his whole life idolizing, and was forced to contend with the way in which he fundamentally misunderstood that man's life and what it would mean to carry out his legacy. Makes you think, huh?
> 
> Alternate title that I honestly really wanted to use: I'm Anakin Skywalker. Stop it, get some help. (https://youtu.be/5vk7GLP4GFk)
> 
> This is an idea I've had bouncing around in my head for probably a couple years now, but then on seeing TRoS it fit so perfectly as a fix-it for this specific scene that I just had to get it down. On actually getting it written down... it doesn't exactly work and I'm not really sure how well it meshes with Kylo's characterization across Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker... but also that characterization is maybe so much of a mess that who knows how well anything would mesh and anyway. It's done now and the idea is no longer just trapped in my brain.

The sea crashes against the ruins of an empire’s defeat, an artificial island built from the bones of the greatest weapon the galaxy ever saw. And among the wreckage, a man unsure of his name stares at the waves, lost and alone. Slowly, he sinks to his knees, gingerly touching the spot where the itch of healing is still in his flesh.

  
“Stand up kid, you’re making me feel weird.”

  
And he does; and there behind him stands the thing he’s spent his life longing for, in translucent blue glow. He wears no armor, not even the synthleather surcoat of his first war, only the nondescript tunic of a jedi. Above the neckline, a face ashy grey, bald and scarred. In the sleeves, two mismatched hands: one black plasteel and gold myoelectric fingertips, the other hard grey imperial-built endoskeleton.  
“You. But, why…”

  
“I know. Why now, huh? All those years praying to a burnt up helmet and I never appear. Well, I guess maybe there’s two answers? Being honest: I was scared. I went down this path, and I don’t know what someone could’ve said that would’ve stopped me. So I don’t know what I could’ve said to you.

  
“Second answer though: I didn’t talk back when you talked to that helmet, because that helmet wasn’t mine.” Anakin holds up a hand, stopping the objection before it’s even cleared Ben’s lips. “It’s not mine, it’s Darth Vader’s. And Darth Vader is gone.”

  
“He is not gone, through the dark side death is not an end, you are-”

  
“I didn’t say he’s dead. I’m dead. I said he’s gone. I got rid of him.” A deep sigh, of mourning and of gentle pity. “I died to get rid of him, and you think you’ll fulfill my legacy by turning yourself into him.”

  
“I would not be him, I would be greater, I would be a refinement, not an echo, I would.. I…”

  
“Would you? I’m not sure you really believe there is something greater than him. You want to be Darth Vader? Let me tell you a secret: I didn’t want to be Darth Vader.”

  
“ How can you say that? You grasped the greatest power anyone’s ever know you, you held the galaxy in your fist!”

  
“And you think I was proud of that? You think I was happy with that choice? Ben, Darth Vader is the worst thing that ever happened to me. He destroyed everything I cared about. He killed my wife. He killed the man who taught me, who was like my brother. He killed children, he killed my mentors and my friends. You wanted my guidance, that’s all you’ve wanted ever since you ran from Luke. Well here it is: stop. Give this up. You’re in the wrong, you need to change. Come home.”

  
“It’s too late.”

  
“No! Of course it’s not. There is no too late. That’s what you should’ve learned from me. I went wrong for twenty-five years, and it wasn’t too late. I came back. Ben…”

  
“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” His breath is shuddering, tears held back with a death grip.

  
Anakin reaches a hand up, and Ben feels the faint tingle against his face. Is it the electrostatic of a prosthetic touch, or is it the pure energy of The Force? He isn’t sure. Perhaps it’s both.

  
“You do.”

  
Ben lifts the unstable, crude-constructed saber from his belt, considering it.

  
“Grandad.”

  
“I know.”

  
And he turns, flinging the saber in a high arc into the sea, one more piece of carrion added to this graveyard of evil machinery.

  
And he turns back, but the ghost of Anakin Skywalker is gone.


End file.
